Makeup Encounters of the Scary Kind

We've all been there....the makeup counter. And it's a scary, scary place....even for a makeup artist! They accost you, spritz you and spray you, push you into any available chair and then try to convince you that what you purchased from their neighbor last week is completely and utterly wrong for you. Well, let's keep it real people! The beauty companies want to SELL you things...I repeat! SELL YOU THINGS! I firmly believe this pushiness has contributed to our abject confusion and insecurity when shopping for beauty products...constantly thinking the next cream, potion , or lotion is going to change our lives. One more time, just to review, makeup is paint...and it doesn't matter whose name is on the top of it as long as it looks good on you. You don't need 100 products, you just need the right ones for you!


So here's a list of what you don't need to be buying from the makeup counter or anywhere else...


Concealer (big sigh)...this should be so simple...

• Green Concealer just makes you look green. It's that simple! Unless you're trying to pick up the Grinch, then throw it in the trash! NOW!


• Purple and Yellow Concealer...hmmm...just makes you look....YES! Purple and Yellow! And what else is purple and yellow all over? That's right, that big nasty bruise on your knee...get it?


• Concealer two shades lighter than your face (or foundation)...I completely object! We're trying to create a smooth, even, beautiful canvas for the color to go on so WHY would we want to make your eyes look like two hard boiled eggs? Pick a shade closest to your natural coloring, please...

Lipstick shades...

• Purple...There are probably about 4 people in the world who can successfully rock a purple lip shade so if this is you I apologize. But for the rest of us, keep in mind that only dead people have purple lips...toss it please!


• Brown...look in the mirror...if your natural lip color is brown, then, YES you can wear brown lipstick. If your natural lip color is ANYTHING else, which I suspect it might be, then pull out the trash can. And this goes for all of those matching (or not so matching) lip liners out there too!

Eyeshadow Base...

• You know what, this stuff does work but why spend money on an extra product when you can just use your concealer??? It does the same thing...and I just saved you a few bucks!

Brow Gel...

• Last time I checked, eyebrows are made out of hair...just use your hair gel or hairspray and a brow brush. It's cheaper and it will last a $#%& of alot longer!

White Eye Pencil...

• While lining the inner rim the eye in white often looks perfectly lovely in magazines on perfectly lovely models...for the rest of us not so perfect people, up close and personal, it just looks like you reached for the White Out instead.

Lip Plumpers...

• Are you Angelina Jolie?? Me either....and this won't help.

Highlighter Pens...

• So, if you're still twenty something, then go ahead! Disco it up, girl....shimmer and highlight anything you want but if you're NOT....then don't!
  

Kits, Palletes, Sets...

• If you've purchased or received anything that includes any of these words...then chances are it was never created specifically for YOU. While convenient, there's always one or two shades that you'll never wear so why waste your money...just buy the shades that work for you.

Gimmicks

• You've seen them....eyeshadows shaped like flowers, blushes with different octagons of color that you have to swirl together, and compacts stamped with seasonal images?? Basic color theory says that if you mix two or more colors together then you've created another color...so, why don't you just buy the color you need and skip all the twirling, swirling and mixing.