Beauty Busters and other things NOT to do on the Red Carpet or anywhere else...

So all the primping and preening in the world won't make you look like a celebrity if you're engaging in any of these beauty busting activities in public. Even those of enviable natural beauty can't pull these blunders off with grace and style, so as we roll into the Golden Globes I felt it was my duty to point out that even with perfectly applied makeup, coiffed hair, and professional styling, there are some things that just plain make you look...ugly...or old...or tasteless...or just plain NOT like a celebrity!


Tammy Too Tan

• Now...I'm not talking about a healthy tan or summer glow acquired during a sunscreen doused, fruity drink vacation BUT if you've been fakin' and bakin' (and you know who you are) consider the fact that wrinkles come from too much sun...real or fake...and who wants extra wrinkles? They're hard to get rid of and even harder to cover up so...you decide. Besides, that whole 1982 Bain de Soleil thing is so....1982.

Suzy Smoker

• So this is not about preaching the dangers of smoking...I actually don't care that much about your insides...just your outsides, which brings me to the point that needs to be made! Smoking causes MORE WRINKLES! Those pesky lines around your mouth from lighting up and puckering encourage your lipstick to bleed, making you look like last night's walk of shame or just a great big mess. Either way..it's just not very...well....beautiful...

Cathy Cow Cud

• SO...this just happens to be a personal pet peeve...and I've been waiting impatiently my entire life for a forum in which to vent....what's up, ladies, with the GUM CHEWING!? Not just plain old, regular gum chewing intended for breath freshening, but loud, tonsil baring, incessant gum chewing....sometimes with more than one piece and/or flavor at a time. If I can see clear to last night's dinner, then....you're an offender. Mints anyone??

Bullhorn Betty

• Now, I don't know about you, but most of the time I don't want everyone up in my business...so why do we all have to hear about Betty's business??? You know Betty, she's the one behind you in line at the grocery store, practically sitting in your lap at that new, tiny neighborhood bistro or perched not so fabulously on the bar stool next to you, chirping and cackling to everyone she knows...VERY LOUDLY. You know what?....manners are pretty...and if you don't have any...well, guess what? They're FREE!

So, not sure about you but my "pre-game" picnic is prepared, the wine is already open and I'm gearing up for Red Carpet #1 of 2009 and giving thanks that I'm hopping on a plane tomorrow for a tropical location to paint faces...for a living! Look for post-Golden Globes posts on your favorite celebrity makeup looks!

Til then....dd xoxo