Makeup Encounters of the Scary Kind

We've all been there....the makeup counter. And it's a scary, scary place....even for a makeup artist! They accost you, spritz you and spray you, push you into any available chair and then try to convince you that what you purchased from their neighbor last week is completely and utterly wrong for you. Well, let's keep it real people! The beauty companies want to SELL you things...I repeat! SELL YOU THINGS! I firmly believe this pushiness has contributed to our abject confusion and insecurity when shopping for beauty products...constantly thinking the next cream, potion , or lotion is going to change our lives. One more time, just to review, makeup is paint...and it doesn't matter whose name is on the top of it as long as it looks good on you. You don't need 100 products, you just need the right ones for you!


So here's a list of what you don't need to be buying from the makeup counter or anywhere else...


Concealer (big sigh)...this should be so simple...

• Green Concealer just makes you look green. It's that simple! Unless you're trying to pick up the Grinch, then throw it in the trash! NOW!


• Purple and Yellow Concealer...hmmm...just makes you look....YES! Purple and Yellow! And what else is purple and yellow all over? That's right, that big nasty bruise on your knee...get it?


• Concealer two shades lighter than your face (or foundation)...I completely object! We're trying to create a smooth, even, beautiful canvas for the color to go on so WHY would we want to make your eyes look like two hard boiled eggs? Pick a shade closest to your natural coloring, please...

Lipstick shades...

• Purple...There are probably about 4 people in the world who can successfully rock a purple lip shade so if this is you I apologize. But for the rest of us, keep in mind that only dead people have purple lips...toss it please!


• Brown...look in the mirror...if your natural lip color is brown, then, YES you can wear brown lipstick. If your natural lip color is ANYTHING else, which I suspect it might be, then pull out the trash can. And this goes for all of those matching (or not so matching) lip liners out there too!

Eyeshadow Base...

• You know what, this stuff does work but why spend money on an extra product when you can just use your concealer??? It does the same thing...and I just saved you a few bucks!

Brow Gel...

• Last time I checked, eyebrows are made out of hair...just use your hair gel or hairspray and a brow brush. It's cheaper and it will last a $#%& of alot longer!

White Eye Pencil...

• While lining the inner rim the eye in white often looks perfectly lovely in magazines on perfectly lovely models...for the rest of us not so perfect people, up close and personal, it just looks like you reached for the White Out instead.

Lip Plumpers...

• Are you Angelina Jolie?? Me either....and this won't help.

Highlighter Pens...

• So, if you're still twenty something, then go ahead! Disco it up, girl....shimmer and highlight anything you want but if you're NOT....then don't!
  

Kits, Palletes, Sets...

• If you've purchased or received anything that includes any of these words...then chances are it was never created specifically for YOU. While convenient, there's always one or two shades that you'll never wear so why waste your money...just buy the shades that work for you.

Gimmicks

• You've seen them....eyeshadows shaped like flowers, blushes with different octagons of color that you have to swirl together, and compacts stamped with seasonal images?? Basic color theory says that if you mix two or more colors together then you've created another color...so, why don't you just buy the color you need and skip all the twirling, swirling and mixing.

Makeup Mishaps

SO...we've established that not all of us were blessed with the talent to transform our weary, wary selves into works of art, ready at the drop of a hat to strut our stuff down a red carpet (or even across our own berber carpet). I see it everyday... eyeyshadow so glittery you could land space ships with just a wink, lipstick so ghastly you could scare a dead relative and concealer so light that only a mother raccoon would pick you up.

Makeup mishaps are everywhere....but that doesn't mean you need to participate anymore! Here is my list of capital offenses.....and offenders, you know who you are!


STRIPES! You've seen them....under the eyes, across the cheeks and around the lips. I don't know what to say except...Stripes are great on shirts (sometimes), cars (if you can race them) and wallpaper (if it's expensive!) but NOT on your face!

• This is my all time favorite....the stripe under the eye. Usually this look is just that...a stripe under the eye. NO eyeshadow, NO liner across the top, JUST on the bottom and for SOME reason, the blacker and more crooked the better??!! REALLY!?? Unless you think your under eye circles are your best feature then...don't do that anymore!
• And then there's the blush...the bronze stripe, racing in record time from the hollow of the cheek to the hairline. Really, when was the last time your hairline blushed on it's own??
• And the lip liner (sigh)...WHY, OH WHY! must we purchase and WEAR lip liner that is darker than our lipstick...it confuses and confounds...

STOP the MADNESS! NOW!

d.d. xoxo

So you're not a makeup artist??

It doesn't matter where you come from, who you know or what your life is all about....we all want to look our best. We scour the malls and haunt the cosmetic counters for that one perfect product that will change our look and our lives. We tear pages out of magazines and watch endless makeover shows in the hope that we'll stumble upon that one little beauty secret that will turn our worlds upside down. Well, I'm here to tell you that the secret is....that there really isn't one! At the end of the day, makeup is just paint (all of it) and it doesn't matter how much you paid for it, what type of pretty packaging it came in or whose name is on the top. The bottom line is, if you don't know how to use it or where to put it, then it doesn't really matter where it came from.

So you don't know what to do with the products you have and you can't afford a celebrity makeup artist to get you out of the door every morning??? Here's what we're gonna do. We'll take looks from your favorite celebrities...one stunner in her 30's, 40's, 50's and 60's plus and break down her celebrity look...real people style...with products you probably already have!

Let's do it!

Bringing the Glamour Back

I'm a makeup artist and this is my blog. There are other beauty blogs out there but this one isn't about product...it's about you! I've been backstage, on set, on location and everywhere else a makeup artist goes. Celebrities and TV personalities. Runways, Red Carpets and a Broadway Stage....but at the end of the day, I'm you! I like comfortable shoes unless someone is driving me where I need to go. I putter around the house in my work out pants for days on end (and sometimes never make it to the gym) because they have a stretchy waistband...occasionally, against my better judgment, I may even go to the grocery store in them. I spend days on end making everyone else beautiful and go home feeling, well, like a road hag...translated for all of you southerners, that would be "rode hard and put up wet!"

However, when I've recovered from the grueling world of beauty and everyone's face is powdered and polished, I take some time for myself and I have to say, "I scrub up pretty well!". My intent in this blog is to translate all of the looks you see in magazines and TV and interpret them into looks you can re-create at home. Celebrity looks. Real Women. Real Beauty. All in Real Time.

Fan of Paris?? Think Nicole is the end all? Lindsey? Britney? Mischa? Probably not the blog for you...

I'm sure they're all lovely, but they don't know what it's like to pluck a grey stray hair out of their eyebrows, or to wear jeans in the summer because they have spider veins. This is about being the best you can be at the age you are now....with a little inspiration from the women we adore and admire.

Thirty? Fantastic. Forty? Me too! Fifty? I hear it's the best time of your life...I'm not sold. Sixty? You rock! Seventy?? Bring it baby! This is the blog for you! Tips and tricks from a pro for every woman of every age...THE BEAUTY BOUDOIR...Bringing the Glamour Back! d.d. xoxo